I am angry. I have to start over with nothing during the beginning of our separation. I am not the same person I was when we began dating, nor when we got engaged, or even when we got married. I don't recognize these past versions of me anymore. I don't like who I've become: someone less confident, less self-assured, and someone who thought that it was their fault and only natural when others began to love them less as time marched forward.
I am so warped now in how I view me. I currently have no house nor home, save for the generosity and love of my friends. I feel there's no way to make you understand how much I hurt. I don't know how else to explain myself in easily digestible terms for you to understand.
Or how, when I've cried in the last several months, you've not really shown me emotion. I asked you if you were sad. You said you had to get through your surgery - a minor speed bump, all things considered; meanwhile our eight year relationship that culminated in a five year marriage at the time of writing this, are ending.
I made myself so small; I gave a lot of myself to this marriage to only find out that the energy was wasted.
I am so warped now in how I view me. I currently have no house nor home, save for the generosity and love of my friends. I feel there's no way to make you understand how much I hurt. I don't know how else to explain myself in easily digestible terms for you to understand.
Or how, when I've cried in the last several months, you've not really shown me emotion. I asked you if you were sad. You said you had to get through your surgery - a minor speed bump, all things considered; meanwhile our eight year relationship that culminated in a five year marriage at the time of writing this, are ending.
I made myself so small; I gave a lot of myself to this marriage to only find out that the energy was wasted.