I did love you, despite the hurt you've caused me. It is possible for my hurt and love to reside in the same house that is my body. I am sorry you couldn't ever see that. I am sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I wasn't trying hard enough to convey that to you.
I am not sorry for standing up for myself, when you refused repeatedly to do it for me as my partner. I am not sorry for instituting boundaries to keep me safe when you failed to do so on my behalf. I am not sorry for pointing any of this out to you; I know in my heart of hearts how little grace you would have shown me, had I done to you what you did to me.
You were supposed to be my advocate, my confidant, my lifeline when I had a tenuous grasp.
Instead, you were the riptide that pulled me further from the shore that was my sense of self.
I am not sorry for standing up for myself, when you refused repeatedly to do it for me as my partner. I am not sorry for instituting boundaries to keep me safe when you failed to do so on my behalf. I am not sorry for pointing any of this out to you; I know in my heart of hearts how little grace you would have shown me, had I done to you what you did to me.
You were supposed to be my advocate, my confidant, my lifeline when I had a tenuous grasp.
Instead, you were the riptide that pulled me further from the shore that was my sense of self.